Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
