Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
