I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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