We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
