why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
