I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
