in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
