Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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