Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
