i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
