I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
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I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
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He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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