I think my vagina is haunted
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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