Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
