you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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