Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize