the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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