____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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