Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
