She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
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Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
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Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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