my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
