its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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