ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
