i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
two words: eviction party
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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