I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
