I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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