Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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