Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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