is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
