the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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