i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
