We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Come on in and take your pants off
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