he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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