Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
