Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
