Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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