Hey man sorry I got all grabby
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
