I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
