why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
