Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
