Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
