billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
