I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
bring money and cleavage
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Randomize
