Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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