They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
