Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
