is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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