Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
