if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
