My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We don't watch enough power rangers
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
