I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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