i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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