I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
