we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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