I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Don't EVER smell your tampon
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
