So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
