there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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