I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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