I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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