@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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