come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
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i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
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we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.