i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time