oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
These 19 Sad People Chose Video Games Over Sex
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?