Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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