we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.