ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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