as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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